You'll Be A Man My Son...

For some lucky few of us who work in primary schools, there is still a particular magic about Christmas.  Whilst it would be foolish to suggest that at least some of this is not down to a two week holiday, there is another part that comes in the form of being surrounded by people of an age that have a genuine thrilled excitement about that time of year.  It comes from making decorations that are destined to fall apart before they have reached the tree, and attempting to persuade Year Six that we are not singing about the 'Little Town of Bexleyheath'.  And despite still being able to borrow a little bit of their reckless enthusiasm for a day that most adults now dedicate mainly to turkey, wine and seeing who has been killed in Eastenders this year, I know that it is nothing compared to how amazing Christmas was as a child.

Never a suitable present.

And despite what anyone tells you, the best bit of Christmas was always the presents.  I remember one year going through the toy section of the Argos catalogue and circling every single item.  Were I to have myself as a parent at eight years old (please don't even try to think about the ramifications, this point isn't worth it), I would definitely have woken up to find a neatly wrapped Argos catalogue under the tree, however my parents were much kinder and I would tend to find exactly the presents I wanted (more or less).  They may be roller skates, or Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, or a Nintendo, but I knew that I would always get something exciting.

So imagine my disappointment for my poor old Dad one year when he didn't get something as exciting as all of my lovely toys.  Oh no, he seemed to have completely missed the boat when it came to present giving.  He must have really been put on Santa's bad list, because instead of something fun, he received... a power tool.  The moment I saw it I felt bad for him - what could you do with a power tool on Boxing Day?  Put up a shelf?  Hardly beats the joys of the Turtles (which of course, you could lob at each other and pretend that they were having 'totally awesome' fights, which mainly involved them being repeatedly smacked into each other until Donatello's leg fell off, and you lost Michelangelo's nunchucks, rather than Bruce Lee-esque epic encounters).

But my Dad seemed very happy with his new 'toy'.  I have a strong image in my mind still of seeing him happy as Larry in our kitchen, drilling a hole in something - probably without my Mum's knowledge or consent - and thinking quite vehemently to myself "I will never ever reach the day when I think that receiving a power tool is cool".

Mine's yellow.  That makes it better than this

Of course, my eight year old self, upon making that vow, had not allowed for Asda selling electric screwdrivers at seven pounds a pop!  So now, upon reaching the ripe old age of twenty six, I am the owner of not one, but two Draper 3.6V Cordless Screwdriver Kits Complete With L.E.D Worklights.  I know what almost none of that means, but within minutes of them being in my possession, and in complete defiance of my younger self, I had the uncontrollable urge to put up a shelf.  I have not the knowledge or wherewithal to put up a shelf, but dammit, I had a power tool, and therefore could put up a shelf if I so wanted to.

Of course, within a couple of hours, once I realised that we had no shelves, and the batteries of my Draper 3.6V Cordless Screwdriver Kits Complete With L.E.D Worklights would take between five and seven hours to fully charge, I had began to feel a traitor to young me.  How would eight year old Alex feel to know that he would become the kind of man who considered a power tool an interesting thing to own.  I had let myself down.  I had become grown up.  From now on, the magic would always have to borrowed from other people, because I had left that childhood behind.  I like to image that a solitary tear rolled down my face as I pulled the trigger of one of my now fully charged Draper 3.6V Cordless Screwdriver Kits Complete With L.E.D Worklights and heard a robotic whir fill the room...

Until minutes later, Draper 3.6V Cordless Screwdriver Kit Complete With L.E.D Worklight in each hand I move across the room.  No job is too small for me now.  For I am the Technodrome, mighty whirring robot with drill hands here to seek out the Turtles.  And as I kick away a nucknuckless Michelangelo, I realise that actually, power tools can be pretty cool, if you know what to do with them, and  maybe my Dad wasn't wrong after all.  Not only can they practical when they need to be (and someone nags at you for weeks and weeks) but you can do fun things with them too.  Now, if only I could find Donatello's leg...

Once more unto the breach dear friends...

Fresh from his completion of The Book Challenge 2010, Alex Freeman brings you his new blog, tentatively named 'Alex Writes Things', in which he will try very hard not to do things such as set the world to rights, or complain about his 'every1 hatez me, i loove my chem romance, omg loolz' life, but instead will hopefully avoid blog cliches, and instead focus upon his primary aim of being mildly amusing, in a way that means that at some point you might look back again, and using long words in almost appropriate ways.

Yes, after a couple of 2011 weeks of procrastination, the best way I could think of to open my new blog is through a fake book blurb.  Maybe appropriately seeing as how I have just finished reading a hundred books in a year and blogging all about them - did I mention that to you yet?  No?  Oh, well check it out.  And where to follow that up you ask.  Well, of course in writing even more, but this time not limiting myself to just talking about books.

I am positive that there are probably literally millions of blogs out there on the web with one single posting like this, whereby grand mission statements are laid out about this becoming the home for all people with the same viewpoint as this brave new writer on a mission to change the world, be it a politically minded nut, or an outraged Daily Mail reader (is there any other kind), and as thus, I shall try not to be too bold in my aims here.  Instead, I intend to write this blog because I quite like writing, and I think it'd be useful to keep it up.  If I don't manage an update each week, I shall be disappointed with myself, but I shall not count it as a failure if I don't and shall try to post more often.  If it is interesting at all, then please do come back to see my updates - you are more than welcome.  If you have only come here because I link incessantly on facebook, then apologies, but at least it proves that it works to post it there.

And what will it be about?  Well, I imagine that books will make an appearance.  And I do a lot of theatre, so probably some things about that.  And most likely some other topics, maybe serious(ish) but probably quite frivolous.  So long as I am actually doing some writing, then I am happy.

I like it very much when someone comments on my blogs, so please do, especially if you blog yourself.  I try and make a point of reading the blogs of anyone who posts them on facebook, so do let me know if you write.

In the meantime, I shall strive to think of something mildly amusing to say about something.  Wish me luck.